Finn Part 7

“Let’s get you to bed,” Alex said when she fell asleep at the table.

“Come, I’ll walk you up there.” Jaime offered. Finn didn’t fight him. The last thing she wanted was her father to get hurt because she lost her balance, which would not be unlikely in her current condition.

Jaime’s hand was on her back when she walked up the stairs. It felt nice. Safe. He followed her into the bedroom Emily had prepared for her. There was fresh new bedding on the bed. The room looked very inviting. Here the fireplace was lit as well. She even saw fresh flowers.

“You went all out,” Finn said when she sat down on the bed. Jaime put her bag on the side table.

He couldn’t deny it. “You needed to feel welcome.”

She snorted. “So, did you perform an exorcism on the house, or what?”

He shook his head. “I checked the gas system for the hearths. And Emily and I meticulously cleaned this room this morning. Along with the new bedding. You’d be surprised how different a room feels after that.”

“It does. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He didn’t make it hard on her. “Now lie down.” He moved to her, and as she stood up, he folded open the duvet. She lay down on the bed.

“I’ll come to check on you in an hour. Your phone is here.” He pointed at the nightstand. “Your father programmed my number in it if I’m correct. If you need anything, or whatever, let him or me know, okay?”

There was too much emotion for her to answer. Being here made her feel vulnerable. Jaime balanced it for her. It was as if he could keep all that darkness at bay.

“Don’t let the house hurt you.” She said when he tucked her in.

“It can’t.” He knew why it couldn’t. Yet couldn’t tell her. Later maybe. At some point, he figured all their cards would be on the table. Not when she felt ill and weak, and he had leverage over her. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them. She could not handle his darkness yet. She had to get rid of her own first.

For a while, Finn lay back and listened to the sounds of the house. She’d resisted the urge to start the music player on her phone or to check up on her social media. She only sent a text to Cameron, when she saw he’d sent her one because he was worried. She was fine, she’d told him. Had needed some space. There was no reason to worry him.

Because everyone was downstairs, it was quiet. It was windy outside. On occasion, the house creaked in protest against it. Slowly Finn drifted off again.

Alex woke her up once. Finn wondered how much of the medication was still in her system because still, all she wanted to do was sleep.

She heard a baby cry somewhere in the house. It wasn’t that outlandish to her. She’d had the dream often. After her adolescence, it seemed to have withered though. In her sleep, she was well aware she was dreaming, she got out of bed and started searching the rooms, to find out where the crying came from. It seemed to get louder and then disappear again, without any recognisable direction. In her dream, she walked up to the attic. “Sssh.” She tried to shush the non-existent baby. “I’m coming. Don’t cry.” She had never taken care of a baby. Not even a babysitting job when she’d been a teenager. No one ever asked and she hadn’t been interested.

“Where are you, I can’t find you?” She ended up knocking on the locked door in the attic.

“Finn!” A stern voice sounded. “Finn, wake up.” There was a hand on her shoulder.

Gasping she tried to turn away. The hand let go.

“It’s okay, Finn. You’re safe.”

She opened her eyes and stared into Jaime’s soft blue eyes. “You’re safe.”

She needed a moment to catch her breath.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” He had kneeled beside her bed to face her.

She nodded. “Just that stupid dream again.” She could see how worried he was and wanted to reassure him.

“What dream?”

“It’s silly, never mind.”

“You sounded as if you were looking for someone.”

“I dreamed that I heard a baby cry and I couldn’t find it. It’s silly. I don’t know why I keep dreaming that.”

“Often?”

She tried to think of it. “No, not since I moved out.”

“Weird. Are you sure you’re okay? Need me to get you some tea, or something?”

She shook her head. “I’m fine. Thank you. Didn’t mean to worry you. I tend to have a very lively dream world. Nothing to do with my concussion.”

“Oh, that’s good then.” He got up, still looking at her as if to find out if she was lying or not.

“I guess the concussion and being here makes it worse though.” She would give him that.

“Next time we’ll wake you, dinner will be ready.”

“That’s nice. I hope I’m hungry by then. Still coping with lunch.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“Of course I will. You’re here.”

He wondered if he’d understood her correctly, she’d already turned over though.

With a smile on his face, he walked out of the room. What a weirdly bizarre and pleasant creature Finn was.

With Alex, Jaime worked in the kitchen. “Why did you insist she come here?” Jaime wanted to know.

Alex shrugged. “It’s home, isn’t it? She grew up here. She needs someone to watch her.”

Jaime had felt it when he had walked down the stairs to the kitchen. It was as if the house itself got restless.

“But you know she’s not comfortable here.”

“It’s all in her head, you know,” Alex warned Jaime. At first, Jaime had gladly believed that. Having spent time here, he wasn’t sure anymore. He had read up on the house and the family in the local library. Now he was involved in the renovation people were glad to talk about it. About Finn’s mother. That she had been certifiably insane. Did Alex think Finn had a stroke from her mother’s brush?

“It seems rather mean to me, to be honest.”

Alex merely sighed.

“I mean, Finn doesn’t dislike this house. She thoroughly and deeply hates it.”

“Did she tell you that?” Alex stopped peeling the vegetables to stare at his friend.

“Not in so many words. Do you know it haunts her in her dreams?”

“That’s why she needs to spend time here. I thought that was your big idea, by the way? It will all be better when she sees there’s nothing to fear. Come on. I’d not taken you for such a spiritual type.” He wasn’t. And in a way he was. Maybe what he had all gone through made him more susceptible to fluctuations in energy.

“Give her some time. You’ll see she’ll turn right around.”

“I don’t know, it still seems kind of cruel to me, to force her to stick around here. Especially when she’s in such a bad condition.” That most certainly was not what he’d had in mind. When she was good and stable, yes. But even that he started to doubt.

Finn stood at the top of the stairs. Wanting to let them know she was awake, but unwilling to go down there. The mere idea of yelling made her head spin. Then she heard that last part of the conversation. Her father saying that she’d turn around once she saw it was all in her head. Jaime standing up for her. Seeing it from her side. Finn stepped back and nearly fell over. The wall caught her. Did her father really think that? How could he, when he knew what had happened to her? What had happened to all of them? And who made Jaime the expert? Was that the reason that he would stay overnight? To prevent her from doing stupid things?

Jaime heard a weird sound come from upstairs and went to check it out. He found Finn still standing with her back to the wall.

“Are you okay?” He wanted to know. She nodded.

“Did you hear…?”

Again a nod.

“Don’t worry about it.” He urged her. “It’s nothing.”

“Maybe not to you.”

He didn’t quite know what to say.

For that one moment, Finn could see right through him. All his hurt, his anger, his sensitivity. She smiled.

It looked weird to Jaime, Finn with that bruise prominently on her cheek. Her pale skin, her red hair that hadn’t seen a brush in two days. And that smile, that beautiful, radiating, warm smile.

“Thank you.” She said. She didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. He had enough to be getting on with.

“You’re welcome.” He answered. This was a conversation they had without words. “How are you?”

“Feeling a lot better.” It was true. Not only because she’d slept all day, but knowing she had at least one person on her side, who would not dismiss her feelings as brain waves, it meant the world to her.

“Good. Can I get you anything while you wait for dinner? I think we’ll be about half an hour.” He directed her to the living room. Again that hearth that gave a warm glow. The lights were low, but it didn’t feel dark at all.

“Maybe a coke or something. To feel a bit more awake.”

“Sure.” He promised. He made sure she sat down, and the remote of the TV was within reach.

A British crime show was on TV when he came back. She had her phone in her hand and was checking up on her Social Media.

“You don’t have to wait on me hand and foot, you know.” She said after she’d thanked him again.

“Just today. Don’t worry about it. Next time I’ll let you work for it.”

“Good.”

She considered laying the table in the dining room, but then decided she didn’t want to break what was left of her father’s crockery. There already was so little left of the two sets her parents had been given on their wedding day.

In her mail she found some messages from the guys, worrying about her. One from Brent, wondering what she was up to. She answered the team that she’d had a bad fall and was recovering from a concussion. To Brent, she sent the clear message that he could go to hell and would get a restraining order if he ever considered coming near her again. It felt very accomplished.

Her father checked in on her before he started laying the table. “Ah, you’re awake, good.”

She nodded. “Feeling much better, thanks.” After she’d thought it over, she decided to follow Jaime’s advice. To pretend she’d not heard the conversation. If she’d not gotten through to her father in all those years, she certainly wasn’t going to change his opinion now.

Dinner was a pleasant affair. Mostly it was Alex and Jaime who did the talking. Finn enjoyed listening to them very much, she found. She’d never heard her father talk this way, telling stories about the old day, about the town, about anything but the house. Sometimes she looked up at Jaime and felt that he consciously steered the conversation. It had to cost him loads of energy. It would with Finn. She should cut him more slack. He went out of his way to make Finn and her father comfortable.

That night in bed it was different. Through the open doors of the dressing room, Finn heard her father snore. It was different now the house was silent, she found. Scarier. She tried to tell herself she was silly. There was nothing different. The hearth still spread its light and warmth. Her phone played music that would normally calm her senses. Next, to her bed, a small light was shining. The air felt thicker.

Maybe she’d slept too much that day, Finn thought as she felt the adrenaline pumping through her body. She could almost feel the energy in the house stir, coming up the stairs.

She held her phone tight, not sure what to do. There was nothing wrong. It was all in her head. It was the wind that wouldn’t let off that night. Finn bit her lower lip. What should she do? Should she call out to her father? But there wasn’t anything wrong. She didn’t want to worry him. She wanted to prove she could do this. So she would never have to again. She could go home tomorrow. If she could keep it together tonight, show that she was fine, she could leave and would never have to spend the night here again. Those thoughts ran through her head. It felt as if the house was closing in on her. “It’s all in my head.” She whispered as she half sat propped against the pillows. The door to the landing was closed. She knew what lay beyond. The two bathrooms, her father’s room. Her old room, where Jaime was asleep. Did she dare yell out to him? Or call him?

She tried to distract herself by playing a game on her phone. Her eyes were still wonky though, and she had to give up soon.

Somewhere inside the house, she heard a door fall shut. She startled so hard she almost jumped from the bed.

Then she heard footsteps on the landing. “Finn?” Jaime’s voice sounded.

Relieved she dared breathe again. “I’m awake.”

“Are you alright?” When she didn’t answer, he opened the door and walked into the room.

“Oh dear.” She didn’t have to say anything. Her wide, scared eyes and pale face said it all.

He walked around the bed. “Can I sit down?” He asked her.

She nodded. Her body had lost all will of its own. When he stretched out his arm to her, she moved towards him and flung her trembling body to his.

“You’re fine.” He whispered with his lips in her hair.

“That door, was that you?”

He couldn’t lie to her. “No, it was downstairs somewhere. I heard it and wanted to see if you were okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“I can see that.” His arms were tight around her, his hands stroking her arms and back. She felt cold.

“It was the wind.” Her voice still wasn’t very steady. It made him chuckle.

“Of course it was.” He confirmed.

“I mean, it’s a draughty old building. Wood works. And in this weather.”

“You’re right.” He knew she was comforting herself more than him. He wasn’t scared of things that went bump in the night. He didn’t have a history with this house, she had.

“Do you want me to take you home?” He asked. In his embrace, she calmed down somewhat. It was very tempting to say yes. On the other hand, she’d come this far now. And she was reasonably comfortable.

He noticed that she failed to answer. “Your father should not have brought you here.” He said. “It was mean of him to do that in your current situation. The concussion makes filtering things so much harder.”

“It does.”

When her breathing had gone steadily again, and he felt the cold had left her body, he lowered her to the pillows. “I can stay here if you want.” He offered. “I’ll get the duvet from my bed and…”

“Yes please.” She answered him incredibly fast. She had been so scared that he would leave her alone. And she most definitely had been afraid to ask that of him.

“Good.” In the dim light, she saw him smile. He had a lovely smile.

It seemed that the energy was balanced out again. Jaime’s magic powers, she was sure.

“I’m sorry.” She said. Her voice sounded sleepy.

“What for?”

“For the amount of time and energy, my family costs you.”

He shook his head. When he stretched out his hand and stroked her hair, she didn’t move away. “Don’t worry about that. I’m a grown man, you know. I can make my own decisions.”

“This house, this bloody family has a way of sucking people in and won’t let go until it’s much too late.”

“Not me.” He promised. And she believed him. She had to believe him. Otherwise, she had to send him away, and she couldn’t bring herself to do that. The darkness and cold would be back once he would leave.

“Guys, what happened?” Alex stood at the foot of his daughter’s bed. He saw Jaime lying there under a separate duvet. Although they were in bed together, they weren’t touching. It was a big bed.

Jaime woke up quicker than Finn. She still had that slight headache, and the room did still whiz a little when she sat up.

“Had a bad dream.” She said.

Jaime confirmed her story. “I heard her talk in her sleep.”

“Oh, she’s done that her entire life,” Alex said cheerily, convinced it had been nothing bad. “Told you it was all in your head.”

“Yes, you did.” Finn was still trying to wake up. She’d lived through the night. It was such a relief. She was sure she wouldn’t have made it without Jaime.

“I’ll go start breakfast,” Alex said. It was the weekend. Emily wouldn’t be around. “So you guys can freshen up.”

He left them.

They listened to him walk down the stairs.

“I’m sorry,” Finn said. Jaime wouldn’t hear of it. “It’s fine. If you want, I can run a bath for you.”

“No thanks. I’ll do that at home.”

“Of course.”

He still sat on the bed beside her. “You had that dream again. Can I ask?”

“What?” She didn’t remember dreaming after they’d fallen asleep again. That was how deeply she had slept.

“You were looking for this child. Urging it not to cry, that you were coming. Where did you go, looking for it?”

She frowned and tried to remember. It was always the same.

“These rooms, the library and dayrooms. And I always seem to end up at the attic. That locked door. I suppose it’s my curiosity about that closet.”

Jaime was utterly fascinated. “I’d meant to ask about it. The key isn’t on the main key ring of the house your father gave to me. And I keep forgetting to ask him somehow, what’s in there?”

Finn had asked that very same question. Her father had responded very defensively. “Some old things, I gathered, toys, my old baby stuff, storage. He always told me the key got lost and because there was nothing important there, they’d not bothered getting a locksmith.”

That was curious in itself. This house didn’t have any other locked doors. The build in storage that had locks usually had the key sticking out of it. Or they were simply was left open. There were plenty of priceless antiques around. Even in Alex’ library, some very old volumes were on his shelves.

Finn decided she wouldn’t tell him she could pick the lock. She didn’t want to do that with him around. If it did contain old things from her, she wanted to be alone in finding them, because she didn’t know what it would do to her to see it all. She even doubted if she wanted her father to be around when she did. After the day before she had started seeing him in a different light. Someone who was part of the secrets of the house. It was as if everything was connected and she, who usually was ace at seeing the bigger picture and underlying mechanisms, couldn’t fit it all together. That was frustrating, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to figure it out. The price that knowledge came with might be too high for her.

“What’s going through your head?”

Startled she looked up at Jaime. She’d forgotten he was still there. “Nothing. Brain fog. Trying to wake up.” She could see he didn’t believe her. Yet, he granted her the lie.

“I’ll leave you to it, then.”

“Jaime. Thank you so much. I appreciate what you did for me.”

“It was nothing. I hope you figure it out.” Without explaining himself, he got up, took the duvet and the pillow and left.

For several full minutes, Finn stared at the door through which he had left. He’d closed it behind him. She could hear him get into the bathroom and start to sing an old pop song. It made her feel as if her problems were not so bad anymore. That the darkness she’d felt that night had lifted. It was only temporary. It worked as long as he was near. That was enough. She didn’t have plans of hanging around the house for very long.

Jaime left immediately after breakfast. Upon the goodbye, he merely ran his hand through Finn’s hair. “Good to see you’re feeling better. See you soon. Alex.” He nodded to his host and then left through the back door.

Alex stared at his daughter, who was in no way willing to give away anything that was happening in her head. She’d always considered her father to be one of her best friends. He had brought her here to take care of her. Why had the feeling shifted? Was it her fear of that night that had made her see him in a different light? Or the conversation he’d had with Jaime. She always knew he didn’t understand her hesitation to come to the house. But she’d always assumed he had at least respected it.

Now she had to realise it wasn’t even that. Her father had accepted it, assuming it would be a passing phase. That she’d grow out of it once she saw there was nothing wrong with the place.

The opposite had happened though. More than ever Finn was convinced that the house was trying to tell her something. That it tried to scare her, swallow her. And she had found that while it scared her, and made her restless inside, she could withstand its energy. Jaime had been a big help. He had broken the spell for her. She could learn how to do that herself if she’d want to.

Finn didn’t want to force her father to drive her all the way out to Glasgow. She managed to convince him to take her to the train station. It went against his better judgment. The weather was rather nice that morning as if it had calmed down together with Finn’s insides. She said she could do with some fresh air. He caved. In the end, there was very little he wouldn’t let her do if she wanted to. She’d convinced him she was fine. She was still a bit dizzy when she moved too quickly, and there was this headache lingering in the back of her head. But she wouldn’t feel any better if she didn’t get away from there and her father first. She needed a clear head. And when it came to that, there was very little better than a journey by train.